I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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