i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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