He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
