You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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