Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
this boner is exhausting
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
