I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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