Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
