The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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