I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
