thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
