You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
