If that was your dad, he is hot
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
