Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
