I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
