god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
