Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
