so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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