I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
