So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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