I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
