Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
