you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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