Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
