Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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