David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
