just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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