dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
