he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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