He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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