check it out our google latitudes are spooning
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
