My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
