You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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