When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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