so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
