FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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