so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
