We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
