just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
