yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
