she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
