Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize