Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
