If i come over, it means nothing
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize