dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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