Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
