Hey man sorry I got all grabby
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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