Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize