No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
