So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
