It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
