dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
