I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
