Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
