you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize