Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
