it wasn't lemon gatorade
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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