she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
