Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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